Depression Common Sense

This comes from an email I just wrote to an email pal from New Zealand. Here’s my update in multiple list form. I’m cross-posting this to Depression Common Sense since it mentions my depression situation.

Bad decisions:

1. Continued serious relationship for 3 years – which turned out to be between 1 or 1 1/2 years too long.
2. Moved to Tampa (3 1/2 hours away from kids) to make relationship work logistically.
3. Bought a house, shopping club membership & timeshare with the woman.

Bad news:

1. Relationship went into toilet – got worse and then worse.
2. Was laid off from big $$$ job.

Good decisions:

1. Finally added up red flags & the toilet & ended the relationship. Hurt like hell then. Doesn’t hurt now.
2. Got into therapy & found a drug that worked at the start of the year – and have stuck with it – making huge progress. Emotionally I’m wayyy better off now.
3. Decided to go full time freelance after layoff instead of scrambling for another job I don’t want. Loving freelance – days are adrenalin filled.
4. In addition to professional brain-care team (the psychiatrist, therapist – both of whom I love – & the right drug) – I have begun to think more positively with some tools & games that help a LOT.

Good news:

1. Clients came out of nowhere when I went freelance.
2. One “client” became a “part owner” situation – no to low money for now – but when it starts to pay it will be big $$$ and passive.
3. Other big client who pays well has ongoing work through the new year. New clients, might go part passive there too.
4. Same client is mentoring me professionally into better things – managing sub-contractors, etc.
5. After the break-up made a really, really great friend – not romantic – but raised my expectation for friendships and has been a life-saver at times.
6. Found a tenant to rent a room in the house. Working out very well.
7. Started playing in a rock band (technically Nov 2008, but who’s counting?). We released an EP on CD which is now available on iTunes (in 2009 so that’s how it counts).

The Current Situation:

1. For a variety of financial factors, I am keeping the house for myself – love the house – ridding it of ex gf mojo – and making it my home.
2. Freelancing is tight for now, but jobs continue to materialize out of nowhere.
3. Seeing the kids infrequently due to finances, but those are improving, and I keep in touch via phone, plus txt & email with the older one.
4. Somewhat renewed sense of spirituality, just about made peace with my former Christianity – moving on from it still, but I’m very happy where I’m at – and where I’m headed.
5. Trying to get back on the exercise and diet.
6. Was worried about my health but a recent update revealed that other than some minor cholesterol issues, I’m perfectly healthy

That’s really it. It’s been an amazing year. Learned a lot. Was sad a lot at the beginning, got way happier than I’ve ever been by the end of it.

My 2010 Goals

1. Make more money – get 1429 people giving me $7 a month.
2. Bench twice as much as currently – 200lbs.
3. Release a CD of Matt & Phil’s Band material.
4. Release a web-app all my own and charge for it.

Decisions

1. Nothing is stopping me from having anything I want, except occasionally myself.
2. There is no reason why I should not kick as much ass as possible in the coming year.